Christmas Just Got A Lot Brighter —Freebies Inside!

Hey folks.

Do you like free-ninety-nine (aka free-99)? Check out the deal below!

The Lodestone Files Book 2

So, next week on December 22, 2018 (12/22 — 12/26), The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing From Another World will be free on Kindle.

 

the_chronicles_of_bob_ecover

On December 22, 2018 (12/22 – 12/26), The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal will be free also on Kindle.

If you’ve been wanting to read these titles but haven’t had the time or urge to; how about now? 😉

I hope you enjoy them!

Until next time,

RJM

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Que Será, Será Papà

Que Será, Será Papà

For Dad

By Robert J. S. T. McCartney

 

Whatever will be, will be,

Time is fleeting that I can see.

You were here for a moment,

And gone in an instant.

You’ve left your mark,

Imprinted deep within our hearts.

 

Time is said to heal all wounds,

I keep tearing mine open;

Thought to be entombed;

The only seem to deepen.

 

I missed you then, and I miss you now,

Only I cannot call you and hear you say—

“How are you and the girls?”

I know you told me that we’ll be alright;

That you love us, and you’ll miss us.

 

It’s difficult now, but you’re right,

We’ll be alright;

Because of the love, you showed us.

We know you loved us,

Because we loved you.

We’ll miss you too,

Just as you miss us.

 

In life, we’re here for but a moment,

But in death, we are together forever.

 

Que serà, serà, papà,

 Whatever will be, will be.

I’ll look for you in my dreams,

I’ll see you wherever the sun beams.

 

When the girls ask me, what will they be,

I’ll be sure to tell them.

Que serà, serà, papà,

Whatever will be, will be.

The future’s not ours to see,

But I’ll be here with every step of the way;

To support, love you, and care for you;

And prepare you for come what come may.

 

Life will be what will be,

It’s up to us to seize.

With love for each other;

Even in the darkest of times;

Tis nothing we cannot weather,

Let’s look to our lifetimes.

 

So, let’s hug a little longer, tighter,

Give an extra goodnight kiss.

Our hearts fuller and burdens lighter,

Be sure to say how much we miss;

Each other, even for a moment.

 

For you, from me, and us all,

We love you most of all.

Here and Now

Here and Now

By Robert J. S. T. McCartney

 

Here I am with a heavy head,

Having learned my father is dead.

My heart aches and yet I know,

Come tomorrow more will go.

 

Life is a constant, it revolves; out with the old and in with the new,

The pain cuts deep and to the bone, to where I want to spew.

Darkness has never been something I wasn’t acquainted with,

It’s been a love-hate relationship—a fierce smith.

Seeing others though dip their toes in it brings tears to my eyes,

I know, I know, I know that I’ll have to say goodbye.

Today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year,

What is it though that makes us seldom live in fear?

 

The unknown;

Darkness;

Cold;

All these things and more.

 

I can’t think of life in most aspects in that which I exist any different,

What I can think of were some mistakes and words said that were significant.

 

But where would I be?

Who would I be?

 

The fractures and imperfections that exist within shape our splendor;

Trying to persist through life’s trials and not give up, nor surrender.

 

The dominos have begun,

My life’s tale has been spun.

We live today,

Only a moment to say;

A blink of an eye,

Hello, goodbye.

 

Cherish every moment, friends,

For we will all meet our ultimate end.

For Aeris, a birthday poem.

A [for Aeris]

A

One of two and going on four,

Full of energy and never bored.

The younger reflection but still your own,

You used to be so small, held in my arms, now grown;

Rambunctious and free,

Oh, the horrors that await when you start climbing trees.

Three and now four?

T’was only yesterday when you were first born.

Now, you’re dashing about and seeing with the sense of wonder,

Where the world is your oyster.

Oh, what you will be,

The adventures, people, and places you’ll see.

I love you, to the moon and beyond,

So, enjoy today and tomorrow, we’ll respond;

Happy birthday to you,

My little goddess of discord.

 

With love,

Dad

Make Plans with Bob: Free Book 9/25 – 9/29

Hey folks.

Free this week (starting 9/25) as a pre-treat to your Halloween fix; as it’s no trick and surely a treat as you can five-finger discount the dark humor novella The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal – Amazon Kindle edition.

You can secure your copy via the link above in its wondrous glory, until September 29, 2018.

The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal Ebook CoverIf you’ve been wanting or itching to read about Bob and what’s wrong with his noggin, then it has never been a better time to reach in the grab bag than now.

If someone you know and love knows what it’s like to be the sad man, and what it’s like to be down on their luck, this book is for them. If they want a laugh, this book is also for them. If they secretly want the world to burn and think a deranged man who kills himself multiple times a day can do it, this book is for them. Plus, it’s also free. It’s also fiction. Free fiction that combines dark humor, action, suspense, science fiction, bewilderment, and what the fuck just happened, ALL IN ONE! It’s like getting a Dell, but without the spam and malware, that’s pre-installed.

So, I invite you to take a chance. Leap off the big building of normalcy and dive head first onto the concrete with this adventure involving a beloved character who has nothing going for him. What’s the worse that happens? You could hate it, or you could love it? It’s free.

Fantastic descriptions of what it would be like to wake up with no consequences.

Realization that this is fiction and that the meme Bob is different than the actual Bob, but for all purposes, Bob still has his arms and legs.

Eagerly hope that Bob doesn’t die in the end.

Everlasting love and friendship are for the birds. This is Bob’s story, and he’s sticking to it.

If you didn’t see that subliminal message that was pretty obvious, then I don’t know what to tell you. In any case, face the void with Bob at the helm. We’re crashing this ship right into your face, and infiltrating your mind with the crazy.

Pick up The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal for free, until September 29, 2018.

To infinity and next time.

RJM

Two Weeks of Free Ebooks (Check Inside)

Hey folks.

Do you like free-ninety-nine (aka free-99)? Check out the deal below!

The Lodestone Files Book 2

So, next week on September 18, 2018 (9/18 – 9/22), The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing From Another World will be free on Kindle.

 

the_chronicles_of_bob_ecover

On September 25, 2018 (9/25 – 9/29), The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal will be free also on Kindle.

If you’ve been wanting to read these titles but haven’t had the time or urge to; how about now? 😉

I hope you enjoy them!

Until next time,

RJM

A Poem: Goodbye

Goodbye
It’s time to die

It’s what we must face every day
There’s no going around it did to say
Grave as it may seem
It’s the only the place where we may redeem
Ourselves from the lives we’ve lived
All that we took in and claimed to have given

Good. Bad. Ugly. Beautiful.
Nothing matters in death
Except for totality and acceptance

No exceptions
No expectations
No IOUs or low down blues

Just a meet and greet with our long lost silent friend
They, who welcome us at the end
A sight for sore eyes
No need to sympathize

Hello
Goodbye
As the light goes out in our eyes

The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal Ebook Cover

The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidalist’s 2018 Fourth of July Special

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Happy Independence Day, folks. Or rather, ‘Happy-Wear-Your-USA-Flag-Bikini Day and Shoot Shit Off All Fucking Day.’ Yay!

Heaven forbid if you decide to have to, you know go to sleep early because you have a job; one that requires you to be up early as that son of a bitch rooster crowing, or if you not wearing an some Old Navy USA Flag shirt, or dislike the sounds of fireworks going off until one in the goddam morning, and your dog is howling. Then morning comes around, and you’re left with your eyes sagging lower than your nuts on your left leg because your kids couldn’t sleep. But you know, you’re the inconsiderate and un-American one if you disagree.

Hardly anyone remembers what this day means or what it represents. But since it’s a day off from the weekly work grind, folks sure do remember it then. A bunch of mindless drones.

I suppose it’s not their fault, entirely. We’ve been continually getting more dumb with each generation, that is, the mass population. You get a few bright bulbs here and there, but it’s a small number compared to the majority.

I bet you’re wondering “Bob, what are you doing with your 4th of July?” Well, bucko, lemme tell you all about it. I’m planning on shooting a bunch of shit off until who knows when. I’ve got it all planned out. Y’know, being that asshole of a neighbor. That’s the goal this year anyway.

The day started off simple enough. No itches but a ton of anxiety. We were to have folks over and make it a big shindig. Honestly, I just wanted to be left alone or go out somewhere by myself. It is what it is, though.

So we had everyone over and gathered everyone up for a show off of who’s firework ego was greater. Then I remembered, I hate the Fourth of July. After getting tired of who could fire off the bigger grade of booms, I thought it was time for my show.

I stood up and wandered over to the launcher and readied everything up. I was going to give everyone the show of a lifetime and I didn’t care. Everyone was there, all eyes on dear old Bob. At least the kids were inside playing video games.

Well, I decided to take a few M-80s and string them together (for maximum boom and to take someone’s head off. Namely mine.). I lit them and dropped them in the makeshift mortar launcher that Ted had made. Then I waited for the boom. Let me tell you, it was a hell of a rush. Y’know when you watch Mission Impossible and watching that fuse go? Hearing it sizzle, waiting for the boom. Well, I made some ‘modifications’ to the fuses, because I knew damn well that someone would try to be the hero. Sure as shit, someone tried, but I got the final discharge off. As bad as that sounds, it’s not as bad as the next bit. When I say I got the final discharge, I had my mouth open. So, you can imagine as soon as those suckers shot up, caught them in the mouth and POP goes I went.

When the day reset, the itch had begun, and I figured I’d start with the fireworks show and see what other fun ways I could off myself.

So I went with a fistful of M-80s—that was plenty painful. At least no one tried to be a hero that go around. Next up was a bunch of firecrackers—swallowed them whole. That was a spicy meatball; I’ll tell you. I know, you’re probably thinking, “Bob, that’s impossible.” No, no it’s not. It’s possible, and I do not recommend trying it. I ended up losing my hand on top of getting my insides tore the fuck up.

Those were the fun ones for that part of the day. The others were more like the grilling aspect.

* * *

So, I had my fun going out with a bang. I mentioned last time about grilling and well — let me just bring you up to speed.

The few guys I was having over wanted to have a grill out. I figured, bah, why not. Wouldn’t be too bad. Then everyone was launching their shit. Dogs were barking; cats were going crazy, kids were screaming, it was just a clusterfuck.

Well, I had about enough of it. Sure, people were having a blast and a grand old time, but old Bob? Nah, he wanted no more of it. I had just put the burgers on the grill when it happened. It was automatic I’d say, but then again, it wasn’t the first time where I went “fuck it” and just did what I wanted to do.

So, Bob’s burgers are on the grill, wandered on over to the gas can in the garage. Walked out to the middle of the street and poured it all over me. Then I flicked my lighter and toasted myself to a Happy 4th of July. A lot of people just stood there in shock that they just saw their quiet neighbor torch himself in front of everyone. Some attempted to be quick on their feet, but dear old Bob had a backup plan for that. You see I placed a few firecrackers in my pockets. You know, for that added pizzazz and flair. I must say, though, it wasn’t a great way to go. Self-barbecue. It’s not what it’s cracked up to be, and it hurts like hell. Eventually, though, your brain shuts you down, and well, your body gets well done. In my case, though, I was more medium-well.

I did a few different takes on the day. Each reset I was at a different friend’s place. Each time was a different way to go. M-80 in the gas tank of the car driving into the creek, playing Foghat’s Slow Ride. I made a custom M-80 vest and wandered out back of my pal Sid’s place and lit up, like, well the Fourth of July. At Jerry’s, I fashioned a few makeshift cherry bombs and made it look like I was taking a sip of beer, only to have my face and hand blown off. Then there was Terry’s place. We went into the woods, and I had decided that I would be a Wicker Man. So, I outfitted myself with I don’t remember how many and kinds of fireworks but when we got to the spot and unloaded. I told the guys I had a show for them. They all laughed and said “Alright, Bob. Can’t wait.” That night I lit myself up and gave them a presentation to remember.

The last time was where I had no itch and where I wasn’t really in a mood for offing myself. Crazy I know. I decided to spend it with my family and enjoy the time. That night, my wife and I got to coupling. In the end, it was a good day. Hardly anyone shot their shit off. It was pretty nice. Later on, though, as it rolled into the 5th, I ended up dying in my sleep.

I know, I know, you’re thinking “Bob, you didn’t kill yourself?” You’re right. I was amazed as well. Still, at least I shot my rocket off, and well, it ended up being a happy ending.

Well, until the other stuff happened to me but that’s something you can find out for yourself.

 

 

 

chronicles-of-bob-full-cover

The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal was a writing project by Robert J. S. T. McCartney, here at A.B.Normal Publishing. You can purchase the dark comedy novella, The Chronicles of Bob: the Chronic Suicidal on Amazon in various formats [Free on Kindle Unlimited].
THIS  STORY IS A WORK OF FICTION. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle — Available Today

Hey folks.

It’s the day that’s come around again. The release of the novel Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle in its beautiful paperback form. The Kindle version will be available June 28, 2018, and is open for pre-orders.

Deluxe cover for "Lilah's Guide to Hoyle."

Win or lose, I am happy to have Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle back out in the world. I have been eager to get books one and three out for the world to see, and with the idea of possible books four and five. . .well. . .I want to see them all done officially and venture on.

I also have been having the itch of bringing out my one WIP (it’s done, just the title is still being bounced about) dubbed Sinclair Gets His Rolex. It’s a superhero story, but it’s more so an unorthodox way the hero gets his powers. I’ve also thought of several reworks and if I wanted to actually just start it over again or go and tweak things to a different route. It’s open-ended, so I have plenty of wiggle and flex room.

Then there’s the wrap up to The Lodestone Files. Ugh, I have it done as well as the side story, but it’s incredible how life can populate your time and let you miss out on getting back into writing more. A lot is going on and a lot to do. Much less apparent; not that I am on hiatus. . .but I am. I write when I can and when I can, but a lot is going on behind the scenes. Plus, I value doing things with my family and friends, so I again, do what I can when I can.

The Lodestone Files Book 2

I look forward to seeing what people think of the “revised” Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle and look forward to seeing how it fairs. I am not nervous, nor do I care about the reviews (good or bad), I just write for myself and want to make some stories known.

In any case, I will be around and also sound off about the Kindle version of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle next week or so. I wish you all well, and to have a happy weekend. Stay safe out there!

Until next time,

RJM

 

 

P.S. In case you forgot what Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle is about…

Lilah's Guide to Hoyle Cover

Description:

“All life is a gamble. . . We go to sleep every night comfortably betting that the next day we’ll wake up.”

Demons. Sorcery. Magical playing cards.

It’s anything but a fairy tale. Lilah, armed with her choice deck, her beloved book, Hoyle’s Guide to Poker and Parlor Tricks, and the skill that led her to throw away her college fund, gambles with her life–and with the lives of those around her.

Elsewhere, other players have a different idea of the rules of the game. And investigating the bizarre chain of events is Middleton PD’s finest, Detectives Dana Deupree and Walter Conway.

It’s anyone’s game. The cards have been shuffled, and the stakes are high. The call has gone around the table. Others may fold, but not Lilah.

She play’s for keeps.

Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle: Final Excerpt (On Sale 6/21/18)

Hey folks.

Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle is coming out on June 21, 2018 (6/21/18) with plenty of changes. As such, I wanted to share a final excerpt from the tale. I hope you enjoy it! Remember, you can pre-order it now in paperback here. Kindle versions will be available after release. Use coupon code PREORDER2018 to receive a 10% discount.

I wish you all well and thanks for reading.

Until next time,

RJM

 

NOTE: The format is not a representation of the final product. It appears different and all shiny in the actual product. 😉


9♠

 

 

 

 

IT WAS LATE EVENING. The sun had already descended under the horizon. The stars had bloomed in the twilight and were sparkling like diamonds. The moon had also risen high above, offering a silver sliver of soft, majestic light to the world below. The only disturbance in the silence was the rustling of grass under Lynaly’s feet as she approached the hill that overlooked Middleton. She slowly sat upon the lone boulder, and a black shadow leaped out of the darkness, planting itself on her lap. She cradled the small beast.

Lynaly looked down at Sheila. The cat’s eyes were clenched shut in pure pleasure as it purred. “You can sense it, can’t you, my sweet?” she muttered.

A meow escaped the little beast’s maw as it slowly opened its majestic golden eyes and gazed upward to its queen. A smile crept across Lynaly’s face, and she continued to stroke Sheila’s back. She looked down upon Middleton, waiting, patient as a fisherman.

“Soon, we will.” Lynaly fixated on a location only known to her.

“Do you think he knows yet?” A disembodied male voice echoed in Lynaly’s mind.

“Perhaps—because of that flea,” she replied, annoyed. “It’s of no importance, for he will become mine.” Lynaly’s grin glowed faintly under the moon’s soft light. She picked up Sheila and looked her in the eyes. “Soon we will have all the pieces. However, you will do another task for me.” She stared deeper into Sheila’s eyes. “This will be your last task. Complete it and return to me. Soon you’ll be whole.”

The cat gave a light bob of its head. Lynaly placed the beast back onto her lap, where she ran her fingers down Sheila’s back.

The golden eyes closed again. “Yes, my queen, as you say.” Lynaly grinned again in the night’s deathly light.

 

—END EXCERPT—


Deluxe cover for "Lilah's Guide to Hoyle."

“What hand has life dealt you? Let’s check. . .”

“All life is a gamble. . . We go to sleep every night comfortably betting that the next day we’ll wake up.”

Demons. Sorcery. Magical playing cards.

It’s anything but a fairy tale. Armed with her choice deck, her beloved book, Hoyle’s Guide to Poker and Parlor Tricks, and the skill that led her to throw away her college fund, gambles with her life—and with the lives of those around her.

Elsewhere, other players have a different idea of the rules of the game. And investigating the bizarre chain of events is Middleton PD’s finest, Detectives Dana Deupree and Walter Conway.

It’s anyone’s game. The cards have been shuffled, and the stakes are high. The call has gone around the table. Others may fold, but not Lilah.

She plays for keeps.


Purchase here and use coupon code PREORDER2018 to get 10% off your order.