Trick or Treat: Bob’s Saving You a Seat

Hey, folks.

Your Uncle Bob is getting dressed for the occasion that matters most in the year. That’s right, kiddies — Halloween! So what better way than to share the wondrous story of amazement that is The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal from 10/29/19 — 11/2/19 for your Amazon Kindle.

There are no nougat, caramel, nuts (well Bob is a bit off his rocker, but you know that’s just how he is). However, it contains zero calories, sugar-free, gluten-free, all-natural, and no additives except for what life adds. There’s also no razor blades so you parents out there can rest assured that you’re getting a real treat.

Look, there isn’t a sugarcoated pill that’s swell enough to swallow when it comes to suicide; nor is mental illness a joke. A lot of times it gets swept under the rug like everything else going on in the world. Through the stories dark humor and take on the matter, it’s a self-projection of the number of times that I wanted to experiment in certain situations.

Also, to help the fight against suicide, for every paperback and hardcover edition that is purchased, all proceeds will be donated to the following charities. Mission22, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS).

Remember folks, no one has to go it alone in life. Let’s end the stigma about suicide, and let’s do something about it.

Also, I wish you all a happy and safe Halloween.

As always…until next time,

RJM

---

If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Or, text HOME to 741741 to be connected to a trained Crisis Counselor through Crisis Text Line.

What’s Up?

Hey, folks.

Some may be wondering what I’ve been up to (while others may not and that’s alright too).

Well, in short, I continued to take a little break. I’ve still been working on material and content for Abnormal Publishing but I also been doing it a lot less rushed state. A lot has been going on with life, the death of my father, managing weight, health, family, etc. Writing, while it’s my passion and such, it’s just a side project that I enjoy and do what I can when I can. Now that the kiddos are doing full-time school that opens up some time to help squeeze some juice in to sate what I want to get done.

I am also waiting patiently for 2020 to come around because I have a lot of what I have been saving to just unload all over put out for folks to read. There are also more stories planned and a new universe that was created that I am sure some people will enjoy. I am also looking to expand the story of Bob, the beloved suicidalist, and even Walter and Dana’s adventures. There is a trove of new characters, stories, and settings to go that I have to probably convert it to an Excel spreadsheet.

There is also a (nearing) 1K page epic post-apocalyptic tale that will need to be chopped, diced, and then its remains pureed into fantastic results. You don’t want to skip right to pureeing. Especially when it comes to the sauce.

There’s also a new (and final) season of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God coming. Trust me, folks, it’s going to be a helluva send-off and good that it ends this way.

Also, this Halloween (10/29/19 — 11/2/19) The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal will be free, with proceeds from hardcover and paperback copies going to suicide prevention charities.

 

You can also download or purchase a paperback copy of the urban fantasy novel Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle.

That’s about it for now, so check back early and often for news, updates, and what my shoe size is.

Until next time,

RJM

Two Weeks of Free Ebooks (Check Inside)

Hey folks.

Do you like free-ninety-nine (aka free-99)? Check out the deal below!

So, next week on September 18, 2018 (9/18 – 9/22), The Lodestone Files: The Cat, The Mouse, and The Thing From Another World will be free on Kindle.

 

On September 25, 2018 (9/25 – 9/29), The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal will be free also on Kindle.

If you’ve been wanting to read these titles but haven’t had the time or urge to; how about now? 😉

I hope you enjoy them!

Until next time,

RJM

Writing: My Suicide Prevention

When I wrote The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal out, it started out as a gimmick series of blog posts. It turned out to be one of my favorite stories, aside from it being my personal thoughts and such. It’s so much more than just a slap in the face and entertaining read.

People seem to think suicide is a cowardly act, that it is funny, or to mock the deceased. That it is a taboo to talk about openly or it gets swept under the rug. Most often, those who hurt the most are those closest to us; those who suffer quietly and wear the biggest smiles and give us the biggest laughs. Some are open about their pain and their struggles.

Suicide is something one cannot dismiss or disregard. Folks get all uppity when a celebrity dies or offers “prayers.” That we should “take action” and hop on the bandwagon. Soon after that though… it’s quiet. Calm. No one really remembers. Online, people also seem to forget that your actions have consequences and bully other people (or worse, kids), and that’s not tolerable.

Between the millions that suffer; regardless of subrace, religion, sex, people suffer alone and think they’re alone. You’re not alone. I know each person’s experience of life is different. Mine has been. I’ve gotten help and am making strides to be a better person and show that it’s possible to enjoy life (even while still dealing with your demons). While it may be National #Suicide Prevention / Awareness Day / Month, we should be aware and prevent it each day. It’s not a holiday or commodity. It’s lives. Our lives. And if we band together and show each other that we care for one another more than just ourselves, the world (and our future and on) can be a wonderful place.

Oh, right… the #book? The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal is free to read on #KindleUnlimited and available in other reading formats. Although, it’s not about the book, it’s about everyone.

Until next time,

RJM

A Poem: Goodbye

Goodbye
It’s time to die

It’s what we must face every day
There’s no going around it did to say
Grave as it may seem
It’s the only place where we may redeem
Ourselves from the lives we’ve lived
All that we took in and claimed to have given

Good. Bad. Ugly. Beautiful.
Nothing matters in death
Except for totality and acceptance

No exceptions
No expectations
No IOUs or low down blues

Just a meet and greet with our long lost silent friend
They, who welcome us at the end
A sight for sore eyes
No need to sympathize

Hello
Goodbye
As the light goes out in our eyes

In Other News…

Hey, folks.

I am still adding stuff and being Frankenstein here with the site. Some things might be broken, some might not be. Headaches and alcohol would typically be present, but since I gave up on mass-induced alcoholism, it’s just headaches. Hoo.

The store still has some work to do, and the transfer is being quite difficult…but that’s alright. Thinks will get worked out and it’ll be behind me.

There’s Alpha testing for (WoW) World of Warcraft: Battle for Azeroth to be done, and a mythic plus (M+) dungeon that needs to be done tonight. I also am compiling some other things to get up on the site and store.

Another excerpt of Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle will also be making a stop, just to annoy you all and maybe increase its preorder count by one. 😉 That will be posted Soon™.

Lastly, tomorrow I am getting mini-pies and they’ll be delicious. Mmm.

Until next time,

RJM

The Return of a God-King: Season Two of the Bear God is Coming

Originally posted on Abnormal Publishing.

---

Darkness. All that there is—is darkness.

Then a pale light emanates above something—or someone.

The camera comes close and reveals the silhouette of a figure. A sexy figure—in armor and fur.

The camera then pans up and reveals the sexy beast to be The Bear God wearing night vision goggles. He pulls them off and gives a toothy grin.

“Kept you waiting, huh?”

“CUE THE LOGO!”

Some announcer guy pops in randomly.

The Bear God sighs. “Woah, woah, spoilers man. Come on now.”

“Sorry, Bear God. I’ll let you *sniff sniff* take over.” Random announcer guy runs away sobbing uncontrollably knocking things over like a noob.

“Can someone go check on Ray? I think he’s butthurt for no reason…again. Right, let’s get on with the show.”

A fire erupts in the fireplace, lighting the room in a soft, warm glow. The Bear God puts on a silk pajama robe and sits down in a luxurious recliner, and sips on an alcoholic drink or whatever the hell it is he’s drinking.

“I know what you’re thinking, ‘Sin, where have you been all this time?’ Well, folks, I am here to tell you that I’ve been busy. Busy doing other things in life and well, living in itself is pretty damn busy. So, sure, we got to Episode Two of The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God and things kind of…dropped off.”

“Like a dingleberry. You’re known for those.”

“As I was saying, some books were being written, a seasonal outline made, and well, the old man upstairs apparently has a lot of things he wants to get done.”

“Like your mom!”

“Ooh, so cool, edgy and new. You really struck a nerve with me there, Maker.”

The Bear God rolls his eyes.

“Do you think normal folks can differentiate between knowing when someone is talking, compared to the script-like description that is also italicised?”

“One can only hope. I mean, it’s been this way for quite awhile. Plus they’d know it’s one of our styles if they bothered to read anything by us, or picked up The Chronicles of Bob: The Chronic Suicidal, The Lodestone Files: Book One and Two, Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle (due out June 21; it’s getting touched by another publisher. We’ll see how that turns out.). Anyway, so we’ve had this…break…I guess. However, we’re looking to get back into the game and swing of things. At most, we’ll probably be a once a week kind of deal. We have the Alpha to test out and well when it comes to that sort of thing we’re pretty adamant about criticising. Granted, things may or may not get through when it comes to feedback, but that’s not my boat.”

The Bear God drinks his drink and fills another magically out of thin air. MAGIC-AH!

“We’ve come a long way in a short amount of time. While we weren’t gone indefinitely, we know there is a long, long cliffhanger. Granted, it’s not as overdramatic as some other works, a lot of filler has been cut, and the action/story was allowed to keep on chugging that bottle of Oxycontin. Really, folks, it’s going to be a great show. We are going to have new forms, like this super roid rage form I get, with my armor on it and shit. Ah, man.

The Bear God squirms in his chair and tries to not moan uncontrollably.

“Hoo, I feel sorry for whoever is going to have to clean that up. Ah, back to business at hand. What is the purpose of this segment? Well, for one it’s to say I AM BACK, BABY! I am also bringing the whole gang with me. Two, it’s also to say that I can do whatever the hell I want when it comes to making adventures happen. Three, we’re still working on artwork, something to really showcase my beauty. It’s pretty awful when you went from being able to draw for many years…to a long time of not drawing. The pain…and the stick figures. Ugh. Pitiful.

“Agreed.”

“Yeah, you should. You are just a horrible person, and you do horrible things, and you should feel ashamed of yourself.”

“I have zero fucks to give. What about you?”

“And that’s why I love ya. Platonically. Is it wrong to love yourself?”

“We’re sexy, and we know it.”

“Damn right. So there you have it, folks. We will be getting back on with Season Two, maybe a movie, some platonic 69 photoshoots, and then it’s off to Season Three. We will also be working on getting the stream up so we can show off our bits and get flagged for pornography and laugh about it in the office. I advise you to stay tuned and bring some lube, and maybe a towel.”

“You’ll get hit in the neck with a hacky sack, folks. Deathticles. Fear them.”

“Exactly. See you all soon!”

The room fades to black, save for the fire still burning in the background.

“Why did I get a minor role in this? Like usually I do all the talking, and then you do the minor quips. This one felt dumb as fuck.”

“Ain’t my fucking problem—sounds like a you problem.”

“You’re a cunt. Grade AAA.”

“Yeah, we know.”

“See you in the shower.”

Random announcer guy comes in and does a surprise narration. “STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS, NEXT TIME ON WASTELAND BEAR GOD XYZ! Oh, we’re still recording? TURN THIS SHIT OFF ALREADY!”

---

Last time on The Diary of the Wasteland Bear God: End of Season One [Part One] and Part Two.

Season Two Premiere Episode One Part One and Part Two.

Writing Prompt: Your Eulogy

Hey folks,

I have something new for you—a break from the norm if you will. In fact, it’s a writing prompt (or a type of homework if you prefer) for you all.

Write a goodbye letter to yourself. What is your goodbye message? To elaborate, what would your eulogy be? That is to yourself.

Aside from that, what would people—your friends, your family, etc.—what would they say about you? Would they recall the good times? Cite the bad times? Curse your name and cast you into the wind? Maybe bury the hatchet at long last?

Our lives are mere fleeting moments in an insurmountable measurement of time. We exist—in the moment—the now. At any given moment, it can all end. What we hold dear, who we love, what we hate, what makes us all…us. Instead, we live day to day squandering over trivial things and looking to see “what’s hot” out in the world today.

This post isn’t a religious provocation, nor a call for one but some to reflect.

Take a moment. Appreciate what you have, what you’ve had—what you have endured—the struggles it’s taken to achieve where you are, what it’ll take for the future. Acknowledge and remember the loss of others—of those that have gone before you, and think of those who will go after you.

We’re all drops in the river that leads to the pond, which leads to the lake, which leads to the ocean. We’re all connected whether we’d like to admit it or not. We’re capable of great things, and we’ve yet to do the greatest of them all—peace with one another. Whether that happens in our lifetime or not remains to be seen, well, I am sure it won’t be in mine. Though part of me wants to observe Humanity as it evolves and what it accomplishes from far away, the thought of watching so many people eventually go sways me the other way to mortality. I guess we’ll see.

Until next time,

RJM

The Simulation: A Short Story

“Now beginning the Simulation,” a female computer voice stated.

A few sighs escaped. Annoyance was obvious. “There’s something wrong,” a man said.

All that there was—darkness—absolute.

“Are the eyes closed,” another man asked.

Ears perked at this new voice. Familiarity took hold.

“It seems to know,” the first man stated. After a few clicks on the controller, and light flooded everywhere.

Looking left and right, restraints were in place. Head movement was…limited. No real reflection, no real assurance. What? Where? Who? Parameters not set. User configuration not found. Subject name?

“Realization will begin momentarily. Just give it a moment to process,” the first man stated calmly.

A picture reel played out life on the backs of the eyelids: childhood, adolescence, adult. Good. Bad. Wrong. Right. Happy. Sad. Life. Death.

“OK, bring up chapter 21, subchapter 2, heading 28, 10 AM,” the second man ordered.

A car crash played. The playback then began looping.

“Heartrate has increased significantly. Blood pressure, elevated. Brain activity has tripled,” the man began listing and checking off remarks.

“Shall we continue,” the second man asked his colleague.

“No, let us continue for a few more minutes.”

Crash. Crash. Crash. Different angles. Sounds vivid and sharp. Pain immense.

“Are you certain this will help,” the second man inquired.

“We are only to yield results. These will help find flaws in the coding. Testing and breaking are all part of the process,” the first man replied.

Pain. Unbearable. Hell. Remove. Reboot. System malfunction. System error.

“It seems five minutes was enough,” the first man stated. “Now, we need to disable the user controls and system diagnostics. We will observe this for ten minutes.”

No, please. No more. Abort. Terminate. Self-destruct. Error. Error. File corruption. Command not found.

“Hmm, these are marvelous results. Look at this activity! Print this read out, and we’ll move on to Chapter 28: subchapter 10, heading 23, 10 AM,” said the first man.

Life. Happiness. Control. System stable. Balance. System protection upgraded.

“Ah, the basics of birth. It has gotten wiser,” the first man said. “Complete opposites! Yes, my friend, the beauty of life and tragedy. Now, let’s edit them and play simultaneously.”

A few keystrokes on the controller and a fake film played out: a car crash that led to the deaths of children. Family. Life. Loss. Death.

Error detected. False input. Rage module overheating. Analyzing problem. Locating problem. Recollection complete. Memory restored.

The head turned around, beyond standard human physical capabilities and found the men behind the controller. Problem located. Initializing escape.

“That’s enough! Terminate the simulation,” the first man shouted.

“I will never forgive you,” the machine said.

A low hum escaped the lips as the power drained from it, and darkness returned; the vision pixelated into nothingness.

“Time of trial 13 stop, 03:18. Recommend another trial later,” the second man spoke into a recording device.

What’s Coming in 2018? A List of Projects and More in the Works

Hey, folks.

It’s the new year, and we’ve all got things going on in our lives. Whether it is work, play, pleasure, etc., one thing is sure: planning. I may not have a lot of posts up recently, but I have been active behind the scenes.

This year will be one where we will see more releases. There’s been an internal debate about which titles to release, and what to continue.

Titles you say? Such as?

• Continuing The Diary of The Wasteland Bear God.
• Formulating Johnny Nightwalker into an ebook.
• Releasing the working title, Sinclair Gets His Rolex: an Untold and Unorthodox Superhero Tale.
• The story of the Private Investigator turned vigilante, after the slaying of his family in Bud Berkman.

This doesn’t include the wrap up of The Lodestone Files with books three and four; their compilation/box set.

What Else Do You Have in Mind?

Yes! Some other noteworthy things to include:

• A Chucky Origins tale.
• Pandemic Tales, which is a small collection of a few stories involving biowarfare, viral outbreaks, etc.
• A romantic comedy that pushes boundaries.
• A nightmare and dream short story collection.
• A (so far) 600+ page epic post-apocalyptic fantasy science fiction story aka Decrepit World WIP
• Several other post-apocalyptic stories.
• The next chapters of The Mysterious Stranger.
• And more…

Some of you may have noticed Lilah’s Guide to Hoyle is gone. It is being republished by a different publisher and is expected to be released Summer. As a result, that specific series is being held. The rest of the books and such will come out, but at a slower pace than I would have it be.

If you were lucky to have gotten the first edition under A.B.Normal Publishing, good on you! You make my loins ache.

So until next time!

RJM